My husband and I live on a small acreage plot with our two dogs, Lassie and Tikki, chickens, gold fish- yes, I know, but I happen to like gold fish- in four troughs outside, and flocks of corellas, king parrots, galahs, and an assortment of crimson and eastern rosellas, together with the odd visit from koalas.
Even though I consider that we have all the beauty we need around us, my husband thought it about time to take a quick tour around Victoria. I had just undergone a cataract operation and was finding sunlight uncomfortable, but Jan insisted that I would love ‘every minute’ of the trip.
It was mid-summer when we set off for our holiday and the sun seemed to be sizzling my eyes. Strong sunglasses over my eye-patch didn’t help, and my eyes kept watering profusely.
We arrived in Colac and the motel owner booked us in to a room with a small parking space just beside a little garden crammed with diosma and spikey sword grass. He advised us to order dinner straight away because the kitchen was about to close.
The word, ‘quick’ never fails to set up a panic response in me. As soon as our car was parked, I scrambled out and tripped on the small curb beside me and fell into the garden, breaking my fall by grabbing a diosma bush and pulling it out by its roots while doing an impersonation of an armadillo curled in the shrubbery. The needle-like dried leaves of the diosma lodged in my eyes when the sharp, newly cut branched dislodged my eye-patch and tore several deep scratches into my face.
‘Quick! We’ll deal with your face after we order dinner or we’ll miss out.’ I was frog marched to the dining room and Jan went to order dinner while I sat wiping the tears and blood from my face. I became aware of a woman sitting at a table close to ours. When I looked at her, she placed both hands over her heart while giving me a mournful look, then immediately glared at Jan as he approached our table followed by the waiter carrying our meals.
‘What a beast,’ she hissed to her husband. ‘All nice and smiley in public, but look what he did to his wife.’ Her husband stood up, nodded to me, then clenched his fists like a boxer as he scowled at Jan until his wife made him sit down.
‘What’s the matter with them, Georgette?’
I’m not sure, but it might be food-envy.’
